How the Grinch Got Jail Time
By admin on Dec 14, 2014 | In Literary
Does anyone think the Grinch from Dr. Seuss's classic story got off pretty easy, considering he committed breaking and entering, malicious mischief, and who knows how many other illegal activities in his attempted theft of Christmas? I mean, he seems to get off scot-free despite the damage, inconvenience, and trauma he must have caused all of Whoville.
Well, maybe the story doesn't really end there...
HOW THE GRINCH GOT JAIL TIME
A legal parody by
Every Who down in Whoville was irked Christmas Day
With the Grinch who had carted their goodies away.
Oh, sure!?yes, he?d brought back the items, at least.
And then, like nothing happened, he ate their roast beast!
?He hustled our houses!? said Whos, gnashing their teeth.
?He purloined each present! He ransacked each wreath!
He fondled our food! Stole each stocking, that ninny!
And who knows what ?present? he left in our chimney!?
This Grinch-like behavior the Whos had to stop.
So they went to the phone and they called for a cop.
The Grinch was just swallowing his last dessert stuffs,
When the Who Blues broke in and they slapped on the cuffs.
The Who Judge?s wrath, well, it knew no containment.
He rolled off the charges at the Grinch?s arraignment.
?Count One would be trespass,? the Judge said with great heft.
?Count Two, breaking in with intent to do theft.?
There was also the property damage acute.
And animal cruelty was thrown in, to boot!
Identity theft they could add just to dress it.
But, Santa, it seems, he chose just not to press it.
Yet the thing that would fix the Grinch wagon, ?tis true,
Was the D.A.?s star witness, little Cindy Lou Who.
Her eyewitness tale, in her court testimony,
Recounted the deeds of the Santy Claus phony.
As evidence mounted in the publicized trial,
Every Who knew the Grinch would be gone for a while.
So the lesson he learned, and the moral we draw,
Is a Grinch can?t steal Christmas or sidestep the law.
© 2014 Richard Amada. All rights reserved.
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